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How Do I Get Back at Telemarketers?

A Little Information Can Go a Long Way

A relic of a bygone age, there is maybe nothing more unexpected and annoying than a call during dinner from a telemarketer. They must be selling to someone-otherwise companies wouldn't pay for these buzzards. Regardless, if you have some extra time and the right information, you can get a little revenge. If you pick up, which you probably will since they target cell phones most of the time, have a few questions prepared to get your follow-up call ready. A telemarketer will always offer their first name for free, and may even disclose their last name, though you can press for it yourself. You'll also need to get their location, which they may be less likely to volunteer. If they're out of the country, as many can be, that is the end of the adventure. However, if you can get them to give you a city or even just a state in casual conversation, you're golden.

411Locate Puts the Power into Your Hands

Go to 411Locate.com, and use the people search function, or the reverse search function. With reverse search you only need the phone number they used to interrupt your day and ruin your life, however it will typically be a line straight to some office robot, the only thing more frustrating than a flesh-and-blood telemarketer. It's worth a try in lieu of the rest of the information though, as they sometimes call from company cell-phones.

Get Petty Revenge with People Search

If you've gotten through, you have access to their personal information, from their address and criminal record to their known relatives and social networks. Have a little fun with it-after all, they wasted your time, so why not waste theirs? These can come in any order, and naturally be expanded on in classic prank call manner.

  1. Who are you?
  2. How did you get my number?
  3. What do you want from me? I already told you everything I know!
  4. I know where you live. Guess how.
  5. I know what you did (insert time of one of their crimes, hopefully occurring "last summer.")
  6. Do you know where (name a member of their family) is right now?
  7. We're waiting for the ransom money. We'll send someone to (their address) to pick it up at 3 AM tonight.
  8. We're reopening the case against you for (some crime). It will be handled at (name a court near them).
  9. Hello sir or madam, have you had an opportunity to hear about (invent a product or service, or better yet, call offering the one they called you about)?
  10. Why didn't you add me on (Facebook/Twitter/Etc)? Talk about rude!
Some of these can get pretty ugly, so honestly assess how badly they interrupted you and how often they've called you before using this against them. Honestly though, the calls can be annoying enough to warrant it. This works great on incessant survey-takers as well!

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